Zoey Deutch Warns Everyone to Not Smoke Woody Harrelson’s Weed

Zoey Deutch Warns Everyone to Not Smoke Woody Harrelson’s Weed


-Thank you so much
for coming back.
-My pleasure and an honor.
-Oh, my goodness.
You were telling me backstage
that you just had a DNA test.
-I — I —
-And you were gonna tell me
the results.
-I did.
I just took a DNA test.
-Yeah.
[ Laughter ]
Not backstage, but —
-Turns out —
[ Laughter ]
-Yes, okay.
-I’m 100% that bitch.
-No, no. Wait a second.
[ Cheers and applause ]
-He just set me up.
No, no, no, I did.
I took a DNA test,
and it said that I was —
Sorry, I had to —
It says I’m 51% Jewish.
-Hey.
[ Cheers ]
-And 49% Irish-Catholic.
[ Cheers ]
Yes.
So, that means
100% shame and guilt.
[ Laughter ]
-That is — That is true.
-The living embodiment of shame.
-Did you know that
that was the numbers?
Did you know —
-I didn’t know
the exact numbers, no, no.
-No one ever told you
you were 51%…?
-No, no one told me.
How could they —
-This is great.
This is fun.
-Yeah, it’s great news.
-It’s great to be Jewish.
-Yeah, yeah.
[ Laughter ]
It’s great to be Jewish.
Rosh hashanah l’shanah tovah.
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Yeah.
-Yes. Yes.
And I also got
my dog’s DNA test.
That was interesting.
[ Laughter ]
-Now, what’s going on
with your dog?
-She’s a dog.
-So, she literally
is 100% that bitch.
-Dog.
[ Laughter and applause ]
-That one.
Come on.
That’s exactly —
-Oh, my God!
-It’s a dog.
I know.
-Whoa! You should do this
for a living, dude!
[ Laughter ]
Oh, my God,
that was really good.
-Thank you. But let’s talk about
“Zombieland: Double Tap.”
-Yes.
-This is a big deal.
This is the sequel
to “Zombieland.”
This is —
The original cast came back.
-Yeah.
-So you’ve got Woody Harrelson,
Emma Stone —
-Jesse Eisenberg.
-Jesse Eisenberg.
-Abigail Breslin.
-Abigail Breslin,
and now you —
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Yeah.
-But now,
you’re the new character.
Who do you play in this?
-Yeah, so they all came back.
It’s 10 years later,
they’re still fighting zombies
and kicking ass
and taking names.
And they come across
new survivors,
one of which is Madison,
who makes me get to live —
I get to live out all my
wildest Valley Girl fantasies.
[ Laughter ]
-What does Madison sound like?
What does she do?
What does she talk like?
-It’s like, I’m from the Valley,
like Zoey’s from the Valley,
so, it’s like,
I got to research this voice
and character for 24 years.
[ Laughter ]
So it’s like kind of awesome.
Ands she wears, like,
a Juicy Couture track suit,
and she has
a bedazzled Sidekick.
And she has these nails,
which Zoey also has, too.
-Oh, my gosh.
And how is it
working with everybody?
-You know,
they’re the best people.
-I know Jesse, I know Woody,
I know Emma, yeah.
-They’re the best people.
They’re just —
Everything you think
they’re gonna be and more.
I just love them all so much.
They’re so welcoming.
And Jesse Eisenberg and I,
it’s like battle of the —
when we’re doing a scene,
it’s like battle
of the Jewish neuroses.
[ Laughter ]
Like, we finish a scene,
and it’s like,
“Oh, God, we gotta do —
I don’t know — was that okay?
I don’t think think that was —
Let’s do it again.
I don’t — I don’t –”
Like, really…
[ Laughter ]
And then, Woody Harrelson
and Emma Stone are like, “No,
I think that was good, dude.”
-“You got it, dude.
You got it, man.”
-Yeah, you know about
how chill Woody is.
-Oh, he’s so chill.
Oh, my God.
When he’s here, everyone’s chill
around his dressing room.
-Yeah, everyone’s chill.
By the way — PSA —
if there’s one thing
I learned from this movie,
it’s do not smoke
Woody Harrelson’s weed.
[ Laughter ]
-Yeah.
No, do not even go near it.
-No, it’s like the —
-No, I would have told you that.
-It’s like the Olympics
of weed smoking.
-Yes.
Don’t.
-I didn’t.
-No, of course not.
-Or did I?
-All right.
[ Laughter ]
-That is
“Zombieland: Double Tap.”
People, go check that out.
But then, I got to say, you are
fantastic in “The Politician.”
Everyone’s talking about this.
[ Cheers and applause ]
You’ve done it again.
♪ Oops, you’ve done it again ♪
♪ Ooh, eh, unh ♪
No, you really are
amazing in this.
Explain to everyone
what the show is about.
It’s Ryan Murphy,
first time on Netflix.
Ben Platt is —
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Yes, yes, yes.
He’s the best.
So, it’s about a character
named Payton Hobart,
who is on a one-track path
to becoming
the president
of the United States.
And his first stop-off
in that trajectory
is to become elected
school president.
And it’s very much sort of
an allegory for
the current political climate,
and, you know, it’s —
And, yeah, I’m not gonna
say much more.
It feels like some people
have already seen it here.
[ Cheers and applause ]
-I know, it’s tough to talk
about these shows
’cause you can binge them and
they’re fun to binge and watch.
But take your time on it.
But, gosh,
you are just crushing it.
People were freaking out that
you were coming here today.
-Aww.
-I can say that —
[ Cheers and applause ]
You have fans, pal.
They love you.
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Stop!
No, no, no, stop!
-“Stop!
Don’t chase me.
Don’t chase me.”
-Stop, don’t do that.
I need attention.
Oh, my God.
-I hate everyone looking at me.
-Ugh.
-You got to get a mold of your
face for this, because —
Did you know why you were
getting a 3-D mold of your face?
-So, I’m bald in the show.
And so you have to get your —
You’ve got to get
the baldness made.
And I didn’t know
the process of that.
I thought —
Have you ever done it before?
-Yeah, for sure.
-And it’s really —
[ Laughter ]
“For sure.”
Every Friday night,
he gets a bald cap made.
-Why do you think
I have this gray toupee?
Are you kidding me?
[ Laughter ]
You can’t just
buy this off Amazon.
[ Laughter ]
You can, actually.
I sell them.
[ Laughter ]
-No, yeah, so I went
to go get my bald cap made.
And I didn’t know that they
have to do your whole face.
They have to cover your whole
face in plaster and silicone,
and it’s–
-It’s a little claustrophobic.
-I don’t even know —
My words fail me.
So, I gave you a little
time-lapse video to show.
-Here’s a little video
of Zoey Deutch
getting her face molded,
her head molded.
Look.
[ Audience groans ]
Oh, man.
-For you guys, that’s the same
material that they make
casts for your arms.
And then they have
to slice it open
with a slicy thing,
like a knife.
-Yeah.
-Also, you only have to do it
every 10 years,
which is a great thing,
because when I did “Zombieland,”
they were like,
“We need your face.”
I was like, “Oh, call Dick.”
That’s not how I feel about him.
It’s his name.
“In Burbank,
he’s got my whole face mold.
He’ll give you it.”

100 thoughts on “Zoey Deutch Warns Everyone to Not Smoke Woody Harrelson’s Weed

Leave a Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *