Stage 56 Bar Tricks: Grossest Milk Ever

>>STAGE 56 BAR TRICKS.>>HERE’S HOW IT WORKS. I’M GOING TO BRING OUT A FEW PEOPLE TO PERFORM FOR US, IF YOU GUYS ARE IMPRESSED, THEY GET TO STAY AT THE BAR AN DRINK FOR FREE. IF YOU WEREN’T, THEY WILL BE ESCORTED OUT OF THE BAR BY THESE TWO HULKING BRUTES RIGHT HERE. THEY WILL […]

Trump Reverses Course On Vaping Ban

WELCOME TO “THE LATE SHOW.” IT IS FRIDAY. YOU CAN FEEL IT. YOU CAN FEEL IT. AND TODAY CONGRESS GOT A MUCH-NEEDED BREAK FROM THE IMPEACHMENT HEARINGS. THEY’VE GONE HOME TO CELEBRATE THANKSGIVING, WHERE I’M SURE NO ONE WILL ARGUE ABOUT IMPEACHMENT. TRUMP ALSO GOT A BREAK. SURPRISINGLY, IT WAS A SMOKE BREAK, BECAUSE TODAY […]

Joaquin Phoenix on Playing Joker + Exclusive Outtake

>>Jimmy: THANK YOU FOR COMING.>>THANKS FOR HAVING ME.>>Jimmy: I SAW JOKER LAST NIGHTAND I’M NOW SCARE OF YOU.I HAVE TO SAY.IT REALLY WAS AN AMAZING,INCREDIBLE PERFORMANCE.ARE YOU PROUD OF IT?ARE YOU AWARE OF HOW GOOD IT IS?>>UM.>>Jimmy: THAT’S A TOUGHQUESTION, RIGHT?>>THAT IS A TOUGH QUESTION.>>Jimmy: YOU LOOK LIKE A JERKIF YOU SAY YES, BUT YOU’RE […]

Earthquake News Report – SNL

>>ACTION 9, NEWS AT 5:00. NOR CAL’S NUMBER ONE CHOICE FOR NEWS. >>GOOD AFTERNOON. OUR TOP STORY, A 5.3 MAGNITUDE EARTHQUAKE RATTLED DOWNTOWN SACRAMENTO THIS MORNING, CAUSING WIDESPREAD STRUCTURAL DAMAGE. OUR OWN RANDALL FIELDS IS IN CAPITOL PLAZA. RANDALL, BESIDES THE GROUND, WHAT’S SHAKING OVER THERE?>>WELL LOTS, CAROL. AND GIVEN THE SEVERITY OF THE SITUATION, […]

Mean Tweets – Music Edition #5

[APPLAUSE] GWEN STEFANI: Gwen Stefani really isthe worst thing to ever happen.Period.Full stop.Hashtag ugh, barf.Allie.MAN: One of my employees was talkingabout how The Chainsmokers are actually pretty good,and don’t deserve all the hate.So I fired him.TYGA: Tyga pants too tight.Hashtag [BLEEP].MAN: Trying to decide which is worst–Maroon 5, Hitler, or Imagine Dragons.Ouch.WOMAN: I like some […]

Triumph The Insult Comic Dog Meets Beto And Cruz

AS I MAY HAVE MENTIONED ONCE OR TWICE, TOMORROW SE ELECTION DAY. THE BIG RACE IS FOR THE TEXAS SENATE SEAT WHERE REPUBLICAN INCUMBENT AND MAN WHO THINKS THIS IS SMILING TED CRUZ IS FACING OFF AGAINST DEMOCRATIC CHALLENGER AND BOY WHO WISHED TO BE BIG BETO O’ROURKE. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) IT’S BEEN […]

Triumph The Insult Comic Dog Meets Beto And Cruz

AS I MAY HAVE MENTIONED ONCE OR TWICE, TOMORROW SE ELECTION DAY. THE BIG RACE IS FOR THE TEXAS SENATE SEAT WHERE REPUBLICAN INCUMBENT AND MAN WHO THINKS THIS IS SMILING TED CRUZ IS FACING OFF AGAINST DEMOCRATIC CHALLENGER AND BOY WHO WISHED TO BE BIG BETO O’ROURKE. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) IT’S BEEN […]

Taran Killam Is A Master Of Impressions

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >>Stephen: WELCOME BACK,FOLKS!YOU KNOW MY NEXT GUEST TONIGHT FROM HIS WORK ON “SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE.”HE CURRENTLY STARS AS KING GEORGE III IN “HAMILTON.”PLEASE WELCOME, TARAN KILLAM!( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ( BAND PLAYING )>>THANK YOU VERY MUCH!THANK YOU, THANK YOU!THANK YOU SO MUCH!VERY NICE PEOPLE!>>Stephen: VERY NICE.THE NICEST OF PEOPLE.>>Stephen: […]

Nike Women’s Ad – SNL

[ APPLAUSE ] >>WITH NIKE, WOMEN PUSH IT TO THE LIMIT EVERY DAY. >>LET’S JUST SAY I ROLL WITH THE PUNCHES. >>BECAUSE WHAT YOU DO IS WHO YOU ARE. >>I’M A RUNNER. I RUN. >>I’M A FIGHTER. I FIGHT. >>AND I JUST SIT THE HELL DOWN AND CHILL IN THESE JOGGING PANTS.>>INTRODUCING THE NEW NIKE […]