Earthquake News Report – SNL

>>ACTION 9, NEWS AT 5:00. NOR CAL’S NUMBER ONE CHOICE FOR NEWS. >>GOOD AFTERNOON. OUR TOP STORY, A 5.3 MAGNITUDE EARTHQUAKE RATTLED DOWNTOWN SACRAMENTO THIS MORNING, CAUSING WIDESPREAD STRUCTURAL DAMAGE. OUR OWN RANDALL FIELDS IS IN CAPITOL PLAZA. RANDALL, BESIDES THE GROUND, WHAT’S SHAKING OVER THERE?>>WELL LOTS, CAROL. AND GIVEN THE SEVERITY OF THE SITUATION, […]

Old Man Steve smoking bananas

Well I swore I’d never tell this story on myself, but here I go.When I was a young man, probably in my 20s,I was with a group of friends.And we’d been drinking a little.And once, somebody read an article in Time magazine–I remember that– about you could get highfrom smoking banana peels.And we went, what.So […]

Nike Women’s Ad – SNL

[ APPLAUSE ] >>WITH NIKE, WOMEN PUSH IT TO THE LIMIT EVERY DAY. >>LET’S JUST SAY I ROLL WITH THE PUNCHES. >>BECAUSE WHAT YOU DO IS WHO YOU ARE. >>I’M A RUNNER. I RUN. >>I’M A FIGHTER. I FIGHT. >>AND I JUST SIT THE HELL DOWN AND CHILL IN THESE JOGGING PANTS.>>INTRODUCING THE NEW NIKE […]

A PSA on the Dangers of E-Cigarettes

This show isn’t only about making people laugh, as youcan tell from that last bit.I also want to help people, and so I heard about the FDAputting out a warning about dangers of e-cigarettes.I want to make sure everybody sees it.Here it is.E-cigarettes may look cool.Maybe you’ve seen them used by your friends, or celebrities,or […]

How Steve Harvey’s Grandkids Convinced Him to Buy an $8,500 Teepee

I bought you something since you’re alwaysbringing me stuff.I bought you something.Yeah.And that’s a logo.That’s the show you should be watching rightbefore she come one.Yeah.Yeah.We’re partners.Your show then my show.You’re going to love this.I hope so.Yeah.You will.Is it money?Yeah.I wouldn’t even tell your producers.Oh.Look at leather pants.No, no.No, no.No, no.Are they pleather?No.They’re vegan leather.So pleather.Yes.They’re […]

Dave Chappelle Stand-Up Monologue – SNL

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, DAVE CHAPPELLE!♪♪♪ ♪♪♪[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >>THANK YOU.THANK YOU VERY MUCH. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]THANK YOU AGAIN. YOU KNOW, BEEN A LONG TIME.IT’S BEEN A LONG TIME. SO PLEASE BE PATIENT.YOU KNOW, I DIDN’T KNOW THAT DONALD TRUMP WAS GOING TO WINTHE ELECTION. I DID SUSPECT IT.SEEMED LIKE HILLARY WAS […]

Hypnotist Marc Savard is hated by every woman in Las Vegas!

Marc Savard: Whenever I shake your hand like this, you’re going to realize I’m themost disgusting human being you’ve ever seen in the entire world.Good to have you here, Beth.Good to meet you.Nice to meet you.Good day.Nice to have you here, Beth.Good to meet you.Nice to meet you.Good to meet you, Beth.Nice to have you […]

6 Reasons Why I Try to Improve Myself

– Thanks to Old Spice for sponsoring this video,more on them later.Self-improvement mumbo jumbo is all the rage these days,especially this one jerk who tried quitting sugar,the internet, went vegan, tried getting up super early,exercise, and health crap.These endorphins are amazing!(gags)Why so much self-improvement lately?Sometimes it’s nice to just not.You know, relax.– That’s why I […]

Chantix Commercial – SNL

>>>CHANTIX PRESENTS, REAL STORIES, REAL PEOPLE.>>I’M KELLY, AND I QUIT SMOKING WITH CHAN TICKS.>>KELLY IS A REAL CHAN TICKS USER. SHE IS NOT AN AL QAEDA ACTRESS. >>WELL, ACTUALLY, IT’S FUNNY YOU SAY THAT BECAUSE YOU KNOW, I USED TO BE AN ACTRESS.>>BUT SHE’S NOT ANYMORE. SHE’S JUST HERE TO GIVE A TESTIMONIAL. >>ALL RIGHT.>>UNLIKE […]

Hypnotized Jealous Guy – Marc Savard

: Whenever I shake your hand like this, the exact opposite is true.On a scale of 1 to 10, I’m like a 30. You are so in love.Person I’m touching right now, the more she likes me, the more jealous you get.Perfect. : Hi. Where are you from? : California.: Where in California? : Rancho […]