NORMAN – LES CIGARETTES ÉLECTRONIQUES

NORMAN – LES CIGARETTES ÉLECTRONIQUES


When I was little, I thought that cigarettes in the future would be like thoe ones in The Fifth Element
But in reality, they’re more like fountain pens
The first time you see a guy smoking an e-cigarette
You’re a bit confused because the guy is smoking an object
Yup!
So, unlike a normal cigarette, with the e-cigarette you can smoke a lot of different flavours
Coffee, fruit, veggies, there’s no limit, there are even flavours of cities
Do you have the flavour of Montpellier?
No, because I only smoke Montpellier? You don’t have it?
Fuck!
What are people who smoke Montpellier supposed to do?
Smoke Orleans?
You think I’m gonna smoke Orleans?
Do I look like someone who smokes Orleans? I’m outta here, I’m outta this store!
If everyone starts smoking e-cigarettes
We won’t be able to ask others “do you have a lighter?”
It won’t be a thing anymore. To charge e-cigarettes you need a computer.
Excuse me, do you have a computer?
Err… yeah, sure
It’s sad, because there’s a lot of cool things you can do with a cigarette
and you can’t do them with an e-cigarette
For example,
You want a cig?
Want an e-cig?

What?

To charge an e-cigarette, you have to fill it with kind of liquid
Don’t panic, it’s supposedly harmless
That’s what’s written on the label
Harmless
Actually, when there’s a skull it means that you’re fine, there’s no problem
Céléstin? what are you doing?
Dad, I want to drink this please
Is there a skull drawn on it?
No
What did I already tell you?
If there is no skull on it, it means YOU DON’T DRINK IT! OK? Who wants crepes?
I’m pissed off
Anyone else?
Good!
For me, with cigs, you know that you’re going to die, without a doubt, from an illness that everyone knows
But with e-cigs,
we’re not really sure what kind of illness it will cause
So, what are they going to write on the little warning labels on the e-cigs’ packages?
Smoking kills! Maybe.
Er, we don’t really know yet actually.
If that’s the case, then all the people who smoke e-cigs are going to get a super bad disease
that maybe we’ll only discover 10 years from now!
Gentlemen, after 10 years of research, we have finally discovered that e-cigs…
…don’t cause cancer.
On the other hand, there are just some minor side effects.
No need to make a diagram, I believe that everyone understands
In any case, we can be reassured. Marcus, I see that you’re laughing. Huh, a comment? A remark?
No, no!
Let’s go, champagne for everyone! Alcohol free!
But since we don’t know everything, if you really want to be healthy
Don’t smoke cigs or e-cigs.
*Music*
On the other hand, don’t hesitate to take as many hard drugs as you can! See you soon!

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